🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a genetically modified, articulate, glasses-wearing member of the slimy Gremlin horde that overruns Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s simply an financial suggestion from one monster to another. However, curiously, it’s also remarkably sound existential counsel. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the worst thing you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. In fact, the majority of the toothy monsters that occupy Dante’s wild 1990 film (arguably his best) possess the same knowing, self-referential sense of humour regarding the hazy boundary separating daily routine and unadulterated chaos. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and as I age, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Obsession

Naturally, my attachment to this movie wasn’t born on such an deeply thoughtful note. As a child, we possessed merely a few battered VHS tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve almost certainly acquired from an non-chain rental store and boasting growling monsters on its knackered cover. I was right away smitten and these films did not delay inserting themselves inside my small, malleable brain. After that point, they became an practically routine part of my childhood viewing routine.

Dante’s first film typically gets all the plaudits, thanks largely to its reputation as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its successor seldom receives the same level of elevated esteem, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d retreat into the house and play it. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. With repetition, it became deeply rooted in my mindset. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they gave no indication of concern.

Subtler Rewards and Societal Easter Eggs

As I matured, new revelations enriched frequent screenings, heightening the enjoyment of watching diminutive verdant beasts joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the ahead-of-its-time real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon future president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his actual-world equivalent.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was inspired by a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world truly faced apocalypse. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins seize control of the actual feature in progress. One for cinemas, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.

A Lasting Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that captured my attention as a child, this subsurface richness kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation telling me he made the movie with the specific aim of poking fun at those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This anarchic insubordination and commitment to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only deepened my appreciation further.

When I experienced a abrupt familial death recently, I was surprised to find that, during my most profound sorrow, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Weird, right? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it furnished was essential to weaken my mind’s sadness sludge – but the perspectives it had imparted to me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: accept the turmoil, invest all your resources into preserved goods and firearms and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my feelgood film.